brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
