at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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