I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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