It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
