some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
