Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
