We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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