Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
