Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
