You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
