If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
