Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
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