Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
