I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
