You can't motorboat a personality
zippers are such a cool invention
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize