Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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