This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
