it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
