My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
