how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
