just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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