omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
