scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
