I got her a Nickelback box set.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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