Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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