his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize
