you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
