it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
