Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
