we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
