I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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