i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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