So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize