if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
