i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
