The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
