you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
