butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
