he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
