If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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