now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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