I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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