Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
