so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
