ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
