You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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