he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
