I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
