i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize