And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
