dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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