just tell him i said nine months
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
