do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
