well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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