The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
