Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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